Summer nights of July

Life has consisted of reading the Psalms, Revelation, and love letters written by Jesus.

I’ve been watchin’ a bit of New Girl, building new friendships, and falling more in love with this season in my life.

Several evenings this week I have had the honor of spending quality time with quality people over delicious food and foamy lattes. These conversation have consisted of talking about the faithfulness of God, the beauty of living out singleness well and the honor it brings the Lord. We have discussed testimonies, the redemption of Christ, shared stories and made silly voices. I laughed more this weekend than I have since I arrived.

This week I spent a load of time filling my mind with Kingdom thoughts and Godly truth; I hope my whole life can mirror this week. I hope my growing never stops. I hope to never stop being fascinated by Jesus. I hope to live out this season well.

This week I listened to teachings about William Wilberforce and his dedication to being fascinated by Christ on a daily basis. I decided that this is the type of man I desire to marry. This week I was reminded that a woman should never settle for just not being cheated on and that a man shouldn’t settle for just being freed from sexual addiction.

I have decided that I won’t settle for less than meekness, wisdom, tenderness, restraint, and a self-sacrificial love that is poured out with a prophetic vision for destiny.

I am not one that thinks whole-heartedly-without-a-shadow-of-doubt that one day I will get married-I have no idea. I have decided that I trust the Lord with my future. I have decided that if I do marry I pray that my husband is willing to carve out the optimum condition for my heart to flourish, explode, bloom and blossom. I pray that my husband takes up the challenge to wash me in the word.

“When men fight for her destiny it frees her up to fight for his.” -David Sliker

And if I never marry I know the Lord is enough.

[I usually don’t write posts about things this personal/Christian blog clique but after a week such as this I felt compelled to do so. This is with the hope that somehow my journey encourages others as they walk out their own.]


Dear Kansas City,

I have lived in you for 1 month and 4 days. I have enjoyed your purest coffee shops, your winding highways, peonies, poppies, bakeries, brick buildings and most of all my office space. Thank you for teaching me about independence from comforts and dependence upon Jesus. Thank you for introducing me to genuinely kind souls who call all that you offer home.

I arrived in you with an open mind and deep hopes. My mind has been overwhelmed with my analyzing tendencies and my hopes have been transformed into something more unique. I have fallen in love with my routine of prayer room hours, teaching moments in an office with world changers, and a kitchen that holds the most tasteful possibilities.

The hours of my days are spent primarily with just you and me. Me and Kansas City. Kansas City and I. Together we pursue Jesus. United we fight for freedom. Jointly you and I are venturing into more possibilites than my stale mind can conjure.

KC I think you and I make a great team.

Thank you for teaching me that it is okay to experience beauty alone. Thank you for introducing me to your friends. I can only hope to one day return the favor.

Here’s to more adventures, coffee, and (hopefully) more puppies.



I Lied,

Obviously, I have not stuck with the commitment I made to blog at least twice a week.

So to the few readers I have–please forgive me, I am truly sorry.

What is wrong with me, you ask?

Honestly, it’s because I am busy and usually uninspired and mostly because I feel like what I have to say isn’t important, so I dont type the words that wind up my mind.

Fact: I am about to graduate college and I AM SCARED.

I know I have this amazing internship, but I am equally excited about it as I am scared to experience it. I doubt my creative ability and compare myself to every other creative mind a like that exists in my generation. I doubt my sentence structure, comma placement, and creative ideas because damn (sorry, not sorry) Pinterest made everyone a creative genius.

But today something changed in me, I heard, read, listened again, re-read, and let these beautiful words soak into my skin.

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.

No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.” 

-Martha Graham

I have decided that from this day forth, these are the words I am going to live by. No room for doubt or a critical spirit over myself. I will spend the next eight days finishing out this season well, and begin a whole new adventure next Saturday. This next week is not insignificant or secondary, this next week is vital to my story and I will not let it just fade away without taking in each moment, remembering each bed time conversation or late night coffee stop, I will let this week of my season be a part of what defines me.


Tonight I am deciding to blog more. This class and these assignments are giving me the final push to the edge of the wall to the murky water of blognesssfear. Yes, blognessfear. I’ve got it, and I’ve got a bad case of it.

Writing pages and pages filled with my words comes so much easier to me when it’s pen to paper. My journals hold all my deepest and darkest but today I’m hoping to let some of that seep into here, and maybe you will enjoy a few words or so.

As The Perks of Being a Wallflower plays in the background and freshly popped corn sit next to me on this late night, I’m facing my bloggnessfear.

So to begin this real life venture I’m going to set a few goals. I should probably blog at least twice a week. Yes, this is good. I will be vulnerable, honest and authentic in my writing. I won’t let the fear of transparency keep me from putting fingers to keys. I’m going to blog about music, documentaries, the nations, life, injustices and all the yummy food that I love. I will share the journey of my life in all its forms. As my life carries me into the nations, into new friendships and wherever I may go I will blog without that darn blognessfear.

To the end of this post and the beginning of sharing more of my story.


“If the Titanic was made to sink
Then so was my heart
For I made sure it was impenetrable
Oh, what a wretched man I am
Who will save me from this flesh
Paul whispers in my ear,
“Oh, don’t worry my friend …
You’re in good company”
Poets before me have tried
to measure this love
And if 40,000 brothers cannot
with all of their quantity of love
make up this sum
Then how can my heart contain this mass
It would only burst at the seams into
a million tender pieces
So what then
What good is a broken heart to You
Could you even hear my heart from there
And like a father assuring his son
to come home
“Oh my son, it’s enough, it’s enough”
So who am I to accept this grace
that just falls like rain
‘Cause we all know I chose to lay
my head in this desert
But like a fish out of water
We only know then what it means
to be parched
So if Christ is alive, the love,
and the groom
Then take heed my friends
For chivalry is not dead
For I know no other lover who would
have met me here in this place
So I awake and I rise from my bed
of complacency
Oh, my God I’ve been sleeping
with a corpse
Oh, and these bed sores they still
rest in my bones
Oh, how I’ve made a beautiful dance
with this cadaver but my audience
is appalled
Oh, how strong these tendons
How they desperately need to rip
from this ancient Adam
So light up the s_ and
Set me a flame
Burn this bone and tissue
For I no longer want to be
entangled in this sinew
That hinders my reach towards You”

Bellarive, Tendons


This past summer taught me many things. I learned how to live outside of unbelief, I pushed through true heart ache and I closed one chapter with a tight seal and began a new chapter of my story. Daily I am thankful for the freedom I have in Christ to live my life. He has given me such joy and purpose. I could very easily think about all the wretched parts of life but instead I am going to hold on to the pure truth of Jesus.

With the summer seal came falls future. As the temperature changes ever so slightly I’ve been reminiscing on last fall happenings and prematurely began to think about all the things in life I am thankful for even before Thanksgiving. I am thankful for loyal edifying friendships, delicious food, hot coffee and encouraging leaders and parents. Thats just a small portion of the blessings I have in life. The list is obviously longer but today thats where my focus will stay.

This semester has brought back the PSL (Pumpkin Spice Latte), my quad of Southeastern friends, great classes, Mumford & Sons new album Babel and new possibilities. All of which couple the freedom I have in Christ and the restoration He has brought in my life. Thank you Lord for giving me boldness, courage and dreams that seem impossible. As I chase after what He has for me I pray you run out your own race with diligence. Be fearless and go.

“Courage is knowing His presence is always with you.”



as of late.

as the sun somewhat settles on the Alaskan horizon this is when I become inspired by the quiet beauty. this state always seems to bring the very best and worst out of me. this state forces me to think, when the night is soft and the days are slow.

the day after arriving in homer I purchased a new journal, I had fully filled my last one in Africa and was in need of another writers canvas.

as my friend Samantha and I were walking through and through the shops and store fronts on the homer spit, we found a new little shop. new shops are few and fare between in this eclectic town so we hopped in and explored.

now this journal does not meet any of the standards I have for my usual choice of writing material. I usually go for the tight binding and faint lines and this one is totally different. instead it has the spiral binding and no lines.

I saw it and new it held the pages that would hold all my new hopes, tears and prayers. my favorite part of the cover is of course the ship and that it’s a simple brown. i loved knowing that the hardback cover was actually originally an old book cover from 1962 called, “Pilgrim Courage” by William Bradford. the first bit of the journal has the table of contents and the introduction.

my love for the salty sea obviously reaches more than just my tan, it wrapped around my heart and soul.

well…there she blow’s, perfectly fitted beside the homer harbor.


“come to me waves of the salty sea, come wash over me.”

Throwback Thursday [Bonnaroo]

Though I usually do not participate in the recent trend of the “throwback thursday” – I thought – fortunately this is a good time to use the term in my slacking favor. Considering I’ve only started on the Bonnaroo updates last night it’s time to keep you up to date. The first and most exciting detail to share about my road trip to Tennessee is the list of all the amazing bands you (meaning I) ever did see.

The Dirty Guv’nahs
The Lonely Forest
The Kooks (Tyler O’Laskey you were greatly missed in this moment)
Two Door Cinema Club
Katie Herzig
The Avett Brothers
Foster The People
The Devil Makes Three
Blind Pilot
The Temper Trap
The Roots
The Dispatch
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Superjam Feat. The Roots and D’ Angelo
The Fruit Bats
Red Baarat
Blind Pilot (second show)
City and Colour
The Beach Boys
Bon Iver
The Civil Wars

I had numerous moments that I never want to forget while watching these shows. My very favorite was The Civil Wars. During this show I cried, recorded as much as I could and got as close to the stage as possible. This music is frequently the remedy to my soul. My second favorite was Blind Pilot, thirdly Bon Iver, fourth place was given to needtobreathe and fifth goes to The Avett Brothers. Seeing so much talent and listening to so many of my favorite songs was a blessing and I am so thankful I had the chance to go. A group of 8 of us camped on the grounds with over 80,000 people to all be musically filled and that is exactly what we did.

Bonnaroo Crew

Tent City

Now I’m in need of some serious packing for my last Hoorah’ of the summer. In the morning my parents and I are heading to Homer, Alaska to visit my grandparents. This is a trip I take every other summer and I couldn’t be more excited to continue the tradition.

Can’t believe this is tomorrow.

Photo from ’10 trip.