I Lied,

Obviously, I have not stuck with the commitment I made to blog at least twice a week.

So to the few readers I have–please forgive me, I am truly sorry.

What is wrong with me, you ask?

Honestly, it’s because I am busy and usually uninspired and mostly because I feel like what I have to say isn’t important, so I dont type the words that wind up my mind.

Fact: I am about to graduate college and I AM SCARED.

I know I have this amazing internship, but I am equally excited about it as I am scared to experience it. I doubt my creative ability and compare myself to every other creative mind a like that exists in my generation. I doubt my sentence structure, comma placement, and creative ideas because damn (sorry, not sorry) Pinterest made everyone a creative genius.

But today something changed in me, I heard, read, listened again, re-read, and let these beautiful words soak into my skin.

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.

No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.” 

-Martha Graham

I have decided that from this day forth, these are the words I am going to live by. No room for doubt or a critical spirit over myself. I will spend the next eight days finishing out this season well, and begin a whole new adventure next Saturday. This next week is not insignificant or secondary, this next week is vital to my story and I will not let it just fade away without taking in each moment, remembering each bed time conversation or late night coffee stop, I will let this week of my season be a part of what defines me.

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One thought on “I Lied,

  1. Well said Jordyn. I think it’s easy, especially in times of big transition like this, for things like fear and doubt to creep in. Thankfully we serve a God who is greater than those things that would seek to hinder us. And I think I can speak for many of us who know you when I say this, you are a very capable and talented young woman. It’s easy to see that you are passionate about what you do, and confident in why you do it.

    You go on now to greater things than you leave behind. Not only because of who you are and what you’re going to do, but because of who has gone before you and prepared both the way and you’re heart for this.

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